Last week’s cuppa centered on one simple idea: at our most human level, we seek connection. Human connection was the topic suggested by a māmā after feeding her baby, reflecting the baby has “got no agenda, she's just so happy in her comfort spot and just wanting connection, human connection…and I just thought, man, that's really all we want at a basic level. It reminded me that we've got more that connects us than divides us.”

The rest of the cuppa flowed from thought to thought, recognising our similarities amongst differences. As one guest reminded us, most people value family-whānau, culture, and belonging. Read on as we follow the themes people shared: start with relationship, honour shared values, create spaces that endure, and practice empathy while still holding people to account.

Connecting Through Culture and Values

One guest started the conversation off; “it's delightful to… have a jumping off point that is additive… like being in the delight of human nature, rather than the ‘how do we fix a significant, complex problem’.” We heard a great story of connection from childhood that spanned ethnicity and language “when I was about 10 years old, I went to the Soviet Union with my mum. I remember playing at a lake with a boy where we did not understand each other, but we understood each other, you know what I mean, and we played, famously, for an entire week. Reflecting off this story one another shared something they have observed indigenous communities doing, “It’s their ways of connecting that took me into the world of relationships, which is to start with a relationship, not with the business, and move forward from there”.

A few members of the group have lived and worked overseas and have a genuine interest in different cultures whilst carrying with them their own culture. An avid traveler spoke about their own perception of diverse cultures and shared, “I've always been kind of a student of different cultures”. Another participant who has lived and worked as a teacher in Thailand for over four years recollected, “not many people spoke English, and so I found that hosting people at my apartment with food was a good way to connect with people, and that's how I connect in my [own] cultures too. I also found using a lot of hand gestures, a lot of hugs, and Google Translate helpful in building connection”. Our Walk Together kaimahi agreed with the whakaaro-thought about food as a way of connecting with others, “food, always straight through the belly to the heart”. Our group agreed that connecting with others goes beyond language barriers and that many cultures shared the same core values and rituals with one visitor echoing this point “Well, this is part of who I am, and how I connect in different ways, is part of that connection”.

As the kōrero developed, so too did the topic of human connection into the topic of shared human values across different cultures, countries and contexts. One of our regular participants who moved to Aotearoa New Zealand shared their experience of connecting with people who share similar values. For example, they reflected, “I think a lot of it is people don't realise we have so much more in common, even when it comes to values. You know, most people value their family. Most people value their culture".

Physical and Temporal Spaces

Our conversation moved into a theory about temporal and physical spaces in history that play a crucial role in having lasting power in human minds. They explained, “Things that are temporal they're fleeting, but organisations need them. They're the things that are passing [in] the newspaper that you forget about, the thing that isn't meant to last. [Whereas] like the statue in the square that you bring the next generation to see - I saw that statue when I was your age kind of thing. That's the physicality”. This concept intrigued members of the group who hadn’t heard of this before.

Another reflected on their journey with the Walk Together, particularly the temporal nature of the Between World space, “the thing that I think came first to myself and the other couple of people who were involved in, if you like, developing it, [Walk Together] was respecting different cultures so I've always thought that the connection can be… as small as that or as broad as that, depending on what different cultures want to bring to a between world…either way it is the fact that its connection [between cultures] that brings the power”.

Empathy and Understanding in Difficult Times

Another shared an experience about moving into a space of empathy and understanding. They posed a few questions to the group to unpack and shared their thoughts on: “At what point does empathy stop being the place to stand, when we have behaviour that is unacceptable, when we have things that are not okay? Where is the line between empathy and understanding and action?”. In response to these questions, a member of the group shared something that they have found helpful in situations where people may not share the same views and may seem abrupt and negative. They shared, “I've reached this idea of asset versus deficit framing as a way to understand people, which is different than just empathy”.

Another participant added, “that's what you do on that one on one individual basis, but what about when there's these big group power dynamics? That’s another whole conversation…And then on the individual basis, how do you see the asset that people bring when the power might be a little bit more equal?”. Our last member pondered on these questions and summarised their ideas, “I think empathy is important, understanding the motivation behind why people do what they do, and understanding that there's a lack of knowledge. On some levels, righteous anger, but they're angry at the wrong groups and the wrong people, but also recognising that, ultimately, yes, I have empathy and understanding for why you do what you do, but you still chose certain behaviour that has now caused harm, and that still has to be addressed…I don't think it's a black or white yes or no, it's a to what degree, and then you still need to hold people accountable”.

On the one hand, empathy helps us understand motivations, cultural context, and the assets people bring; on the other, accountability reminds us that harmful actions still need to be named and addressed. In the end, our kōrero reminded us that human connection is both simple and profound. Whether through food, play, shared values, or empathy held alongside accountability, the stories showed that what unites us is far greater than what divides us. These insights affirm that when we begin with relationship and honour the common ground we share, we create spaces that not only endure but also transform the way we live and lead together.

Thank you to all our cuppa friends who joined us again. We love having you along and look forward to the next one.

Keen to yarn some more on these topics? We invite you to continue the conversation in ourCircle community here.

If you have a topic of interest that you would like us to unpack, then flick us an email at info@walktogetherdesign.com and Register here for our next online cuppa. Every Friday at 11am. See you soon.